The F word

I have known my husband for 8 years and for the first time ever he called me fat tonight. Actually the exact quote was a fat C*nt. Out of all the screaming matches we have ever had that was the first time that has come out. Its not like I have never been called fat before, 5 years ago I worked in a group home for troubled teens and received my share of fat comments. But to hear that from the person who is supposed to love you. To know that after everything you have been through with this person when it comes down to it all they see is FAT. Soon after he immediately tried to back track I did not mean it, your not fat blah blah blah. But come on its like calling the sky blue then going back and trying to say it isn't. I live my life hating the way I look, I go out and I feel so self conscious, I worry about what people think and say about me. My solitude has always been my home never having to feel ashamed of myself and now its like I don't have that.