As of Wednesday I have lost 54.4 lbs. Such a fantastic accomplishment. So why am I slipping. It started with some chips last week. One night of eating them turned into two nights of eating them, which turned into pizza night and Wendy's for lunch. I know I should not be eating like this but its like a switch went off that has stopped me from giving a crap.
I am hyperventilating a little bit today. O.k maybe a lot. I went through my entire wardrobe and got rid of every single item that is to big. A big yellow garbage bag full of clothing went out the door never to be worn by me ever again. I am feeling a little bit panicked about this because of two reasons.
First- I can never put the weight back on. Because if I do I will have to walk around naked, and no one wants to see that.
Second- About this time last year I was pregnant, fat, swollen and miserable. I was putting away some clothes and was very irritated how full my dresser was. At that moment I thought I was going to be fat forever and decided to get rid of all my smaller clothing (size 10- 18) I held on to size 20 and 22
So now I am left with size 20 clothing which is getting very loose and I am kicking myself for throwing away all that smaller stuff. But on the bright side 19 days until I go to Florida and can do a major shopping spree while I am in the states :)
Last week at my WI I hit 50 lbs off. I am so excited to be able to tell people I have lost 50 lbs, it is such an achievement. Today I went shopping for some new t-shirts, my old ones are getting pretty ratty. I went into Old navy and got 5 new ones in XL. I was thrilled to be back in an XL last summer the XXL ones were to tight for me and now I am into a XL. Large here I come :)
I have a wall with my weight loss. Don't know why it is there but it was. I have made about 4 good attempts at losing weight each time getting 30 + off. For some reason after I hit 30 I go way off track start gaining back and quit. I call it my curse. I hit 30 lbs in the beginning of February and started to worry. Would I make it out of the 30's and go on or would the curse strike again and throw me against the wall.
Well last night at my WI I lost 2 lbs and broke through my wall. I have lost 40.2 lbs!!!!!!!
So after hearing so much talk about the 30 day shred in the WW community I decided to pick it up when I saw it at Costco. How hard could it be? I have been working out pretty hard for the last few months so the shred should be a piece of cake.
OMG was I wrong. It absolutely killed me. I almost screamed when she said I have to do jumping jacks. I mean seriously I am a 227 lb woman I don't do jumping jacks. But in the spirit of trying new things I did them, even though my stomach flab was jumping up and down as I was. I think the weights I used were to heavy because the strength training was so difficult for me. Don't even get me started on the ab work.
So I decided today it was time to take another picture of the progress I have made. Don't know why but I decided to have my husband take a picture of me in my bathing suite. I guess I wanted to get a more accurate look at where I am losing, what needs work etc. Well all I can say is yuck. I should be against the law for me to be wearing bathing suites. But as mortifying as it is hopefully in a year from now I will look back and say "wow can't believe I ever looked like that" and be glad that I documented how far I came.
I was studying the two pictures I have posted and I look bigger in the bathing suite pic. I am 14 lbs lighter in my new pic but I still think I look bigger.
So if you popped off my head and replaced it with a tomato that would be a fair portrait of what I look like after I work out. No maybe I'm wrong there is a hint of purple in my tomato head. Maybe I should replace my head with a plum? An eggplant? Hmmm next time I am in the grocery store I will be sure to examine all purple/ red produce.
I have gotten into the routine of working out 30 minutes on the elliptical every afternoon,. When I first started working out I noticed the tomato head when I finished my workout. I though it was maybe because I was so out of shape and carrying around 266 lbs. But 34 lbs and a few months later I am just as red when I finish. Not sure what that is all about. My husband laughs at me and my baby kind of gives me a funny look after my workouts. I wonder if I am doomed a lifetime of being a tomato head. Seriously I look like I am going to drop dead with a stroke after my workouts. That's probably the reason why people used to look at my with worry when I used to work out at the gym.
So six weeks ago I started a new challenge with about 40 other ladies. We each paid $10 and are competing to see who can lose the most weight in 16 weeks. We are into week 6 now and I was the top loser as of the last WI with 4.84% lost. I am very excited about it since I began the competition with a slight gain. I know I will lose my top spot in the upcoming weeks but it feels good to have got there at least once during the competition. The ladies have been a great inspiration and motivational force to get my but in gear.
So my husband found an old photo album of a couple of vacations I took when I was 19 years old. One of the trips was to the Dominican and I remember being so self conscious because I thought I was huge. I am wearing shorts with my bathing suit to hide my legs and am in a one piece suit. OMG I can't believe I thought I was fat back then, I was so skinny. I was maybe 140 lbs in those pictures but because my friend was 20 lbs lighter I thought I was a hippo. I am now 100 lbs heavier then my old "fat" self. What I would kill to be that "fat" again. I wish I could go back in time tell that girl you are beautiful stop hiding yourself. And maybe give her a smack and tell her to stay away from potato chips and french fries in the future.
I have been scaleless for about 3 days now and it is driving me insane. I need to know am I up am I down WHAT IS GOIN ON with my weight. My husband is losing weight and he only weighs himself once a week. He doesn't obsess he does not even care. How can he not care. I need to know what I weigh in the morning, after I shower, after I go pee and before I go to bed. Again, its my love hate relationship. Hello my name is Heather and I'm a scaleaholic.
I've said it before and I'll again I HATE my bathroom scale. I think it is the most unhealthy relationship I have ever been in. Why don't I get rid of it? Because I love it and some days it is good to me. Today I see it as a torture device. If I was ever kidnapped and tortured to reveal government secrets all they would need to do is make me weigh myself 4 times a day on my bathroom scale. I mean seriously today it gave me an 11 lb difference. Every time I stepped on the little bugger it showed me a different weight. Oh well rant done.
OMG I must be insane. I have registered to climb the CN Tower on April 17, 2010. Don't know what came over me but I am scared to death. I am climbing for the WWF -Canada if anyone wants to sponsor me please follow this link http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=807027 Thank you
So I after going through the 266 menu I could not find very many things I liked so I decided maybe it was unrealistic to follow. So I stopped after a day. Sorry 266.
It's been awhile since I have updated. I fell way off track over the holidays and had a huge gain. I got over it and got back on program (well kinda) . It took a few weeks to work out some kinks but now I feel really good about being OP. I am in a challenge that ends in April so that is giving me lots of motivation. I started walking again which feels so good and drinking tons of water. Anyway this is getting to be a boring post so I will stop now.